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LaffGaff Funny Jokes

Clean short jokes and other humor including witty quotes and trivia questions. Joke categories include one liners, funny comebacks and insults, pick up lines and many more.





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  • My wife walked in on me masturbating to an optical illusion. I said, "Honey, it's not what it looks like!" #funny #jokes
  • My one-legged girlfriend has just got a job at a brewery. She’s in charge of the hops. #funny #jokes #jokeoftheday
  • They say childbirth is the most painful thing anyone can experience. Maybe I was too young to remember but I don’t think it hurt that much.
  • Just been looking at my ceiling and while I wouldn't say it's the best in the world ... It's definitely up there. #funny #jokes
  • I drove my car into a river and watched it turn into a mobile phone. One minute, a Kia. Next minute, Nokia. #funny #jokes #jokeoftheday
  • I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses the smoke alarm as a timer. #funny #jokes #jokeoftheday
  • I asked Siri, "Is it going to rain today?" She said, "Yes, and don't call me Shirley." Guess I left my phone in Airplane mode. #funny
  • I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog. #funny
  • In New York, a fisherman reeled in a 250 lb catfish 6' 6" long. I don’t get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day. #funny
  • 3D printers are now printing guns. That’s nothing though. I’ve had a Canon printer for years. #funny #jokes #jokeoftheday